Such a burden of heaviness upon my little heart! Opening my heart chakra, cultivating the heart light, radiance not happening! Right. Well, let's take it from the basics. Cleaning up all that self-centered crap in there for starters.
Calcification of the pineal gland? Damage to third eye? Ah the hypotheticals! What even is the pineal gland? Or the third eye? Does your existence or soul depend on discursive cognition? A physical melatonin producing organ? How weird!
Joined one of those jackass Kundalini courses! Momentary highs, transitory spiritual super-state rush! And then the hangover. How to return to a baseline coherent state. Start with basic breathing. Calm your mind. Calm your nerves...
The Fringe Wizard is online in reflection of growing public demand. Are you vexed by dimensional disorientation and symbolic hallucinations? Then find your inner wizard in the reflections of reality. Return to the tree of life!
Energetic wires all shorted up? So you joined one of those jackass Kundalini courses did you? Seems like a good idea at a time huh? Breath of fire huffing puffing, lifting your butthole to your brains. What exactly do you expect?
Bored silly are you! Yikes! Experiencing Kundalini confusion? Pineal gland calcified with toothpaste? Third eye all shut down? Worry not! Wizard will streamline your circuits and despell the great fluoride conspiracy! Streaming previews from @Mr.Om.Ananda — keep your glands tuned and clear!